It has been a long time since I have been on. I have been going through some ups and downs. I worked my magic and I got the job. But with all good things come the bad. I have a lot of work ahead of me. The job is not something I can't handle it is just juggling all the other jobs I do along with that one. I am now considered a Master Scheduler. I can pretty much make or break the company there is a lot riding on my shoulders. So far I think I have been doing pretty good.

Today I felt happy to be at work. Since I am off next week for the Holiday's I brought in my gifts in for the office. It makes me feel good when people appreciate the gifts they get. This years I think I did a great job at getting things that they can use. I get some much more out of life when I give to others than receiving. I like knowing I put a smile on someones face it makes me feel like my life is not a waste.

I have been thinking about my future and how much time I have wasted on getting it more prepared. I have been so lost in my mind at what i want. Things have been clearer and clearer everyday that goes by. I miss having that special someone with me. I go to bed alone and think that things don't have to be like this. I have to make things right and I will. It will take time but I don't have any doubts that it will work out for the best.

I have had some fun times. We (Maria, Me and the kids) put the tree up. It is tradition to put the tree up on or around my moms birthday. 12/12. My brothers birthday is 12/13 which landed on a Sunday this year. So on Saturday we took him out for his 21st birthday. First to dinner at Jo To's which the food is so good. Than we took him out drinking to Channel side. He got so wasted and even ended up vomiting at the club. I will have so many memories of that night. I had so much fun. Than on Sunday we went to a baby shower than a concert. I didn't really care for most of the people at performing at the concert but I really did enjoy the last three artist. Pitbull, Jordan Sparks, and that the Fray. I even cried watching the Fray perform. They did an awesome show and their songs touch me. I felt like the biggest baby but man it was a good show. Than it has been back to work.

Kylee has also learned that she is "2 years old" what a big girl. Not to forget Joey turned 10 12/15 (he is in the double digits)my big mans for ever.

I am watching a movie that I love Shawshank Redemption. I bought it online from Walmart and it was dirt cheap but it is still a good movie.

I'm stressing out on getting homework done and I can't focus because my daughter is crazy. Within the past 15 minutes she has changed 3 different times. First she wanted to wear her Tinker Bell pajamas, she was wearing a bathing suite, and now she is wearing my work sneakers and nothing else but a pair of underwear's. She just knows how to make me laugh. By the way an update she is doing so much better with going into the bathroom by herself.I guess the monsters are going away. She is now bothering the boys (Nick and lil Joey) they are trying to play video games and she keeps gong the room and asking for kisses and asking them over and over "what are you doing" about 2 inches away from their face. It is funny to me but they are getting to frustrated.

P.S. Congrats Freddie on the baby Brecken can't wait to see the family.

Waiting for my crazy daughter to go to sleep. She is such a night owl. But very good news since Sunday going to the "scary" bathroom all by herself. This is awesome for me less times I have to keep going to the bathroom with her. She is getting so big so fast. The girl is in love with a show called Yo Gabba Gabba and today she watched a new episode "Dance" and she was so cute trying to do all the dances on there she had me laughing. Those big beautiful eyes makes me into such a softy.

When ever daddy is not around she has to tell everyone that "Daddy is working" it is the cutest thing. I have no idea why she thinks that daddy would be working at all these crazy hours but I can't tell her otherwise. She had a few hours on Saturday to spend with her aunt and she drove her crazy. Only after 4-1/2 hrs she wanted me to take her home. Just that morning she bought a change purse purse with Tinker Bell on it and she had to have money in it. The problem with that is she likes to shake it and on the sides the pennies had space to fall out. So every couple of minutes Maria had to wait for my slow poke to pick the pennies up. By the end of the day she had quarters in the change purse.

My big man went camping the day after Thanksgiving (with a few family members) which left all alone. I know that I had my little girl but i really missed my big man. I would text him through out the weekend but all he would give me was one word texts. I wanted to strangle him because I missed him. Well when I did finally get to see him he was so grumpy and tired. The next day he was better than I was able to talk to him. Well that is when I noticed all these bruises on his body. He said that while they where camping that he was able to do what ever he wanted. (So lucky I was not there) Well he was riding a bike into the woods in the dark and flew off his knee black and blued he has a gash on his hand and he has a cut on his face. I would of freaked out if I was there thinking he broke something but he said that he had so much fun. He told me it was like he was flying because he flew so far in the air. I have to rethink in the future if I will be letting him go camping without me again.

As for me I am so tired of not knowing what is going on in my life. I know the day by day things but where is my life leading. I don't want to end up alone. Can a person love someone fully after being hurt for so long? I have to come up with that answer soon I can't keep leaving someone in the clouds because I am uncertain. I don't want to feel rushed because I don't want to make the wrong choices. Well that will be something that I get back to in a later time also.

I am now sitting at the hair salon waiting to get my hair trimmed. It is well over do. I have not posted in awhile. As for thanksgiving day it went so good. I completed all the cooking I wanted to do but I completely forgot to cook the corn. I have so much corn that has to be eaten it is actually pretty funny that I forgot it. Just finished my cut so happy on Tues it is only 12 dollars for a wash n cut. They do a good job to. Heading home to cook grilled cheese sandwiches because I forgot to take meat out. I'm happy the kids like them anyway. When I have a chance to write at home I will I am doing this from the phone now.

P.S. Freddie just thinking about u n the baby hope everything goes good tomorrow.